Adoption, anxiety, depression, Health, pcos, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Women's Health

Beginning a Journey

I have begun my journey to weight-loss surgery. Apparently this is something that is controversial. I made a post on my personal Facebook (I have yet to set one up for my blog). I got so many recommendations about diets and medications. Only one person, who had the sleeve done, was positive about it. Yes, I have done dieting, I’ve spent hours at the gym. I still gained weight. Having PCOS sucks. I am comfortable in my body, I like my curves. But, I also know that the extra weight makes me feel sick nearly every single day. The thing is, it is not that bad of a surgery. I’ve chosen to do the bypass surgery because there is a greater success rate. It is nearly the same surgery as what my mom had, just not as complicated. Yes, I do have to diet before I have the surgery. Insurance has a rule that I have to meet with a doctor once a month for six months to check in with my weight. I have to keep a food journal.

So, my husband and I are going to begin the south beach diet. I need to do a high protein and low carb diet. Some have suggested keto, but I don’t think they realize how dangerous that diet is. It is not a sustainable way of living. I am excited to begin this journey. I had a long talk with my therapist the other day because I have been having nearly daily panic attacks. I am going into the office next week to have some hypnotherapy. We are planning on doing another regression session to help with moving forward. Hypnotherapy may sound weird, but it has helped me be able to live my life. I still have anger towards certain individuals, I probably always will. I still have some PTSD from my past, but it gets better as time goes on. Lately though, I have felt it crippling me again. I know, so many things are going on in the world and things are changing. It is extremely hard to explain to a 20-year old why they cannot just go sit in a car with friends right now. Even with face masks, it is too risky. We have seen my in-laws twice since all of this started and they do not come near us, nor us them. When we go see the dogs, we stay outside of my parents and do not go near them.

I have emailed a dog trainer to work with Jaxx and his aggression towards Olive. I honestly don’t think he likes female dogs. We plan on bringing Rollie to live with us this weekend. We have all been trying to keep busy. We sign my daughter’s adoption petition papers tomorrow finally. She turned 17 yesterday. They are both growing up way too fast. One thing that was brought up by the bariatric surgeon is that if I wanted to have children, I could not have the surgery. I told him that ship has sailed. We have spoken about possibly adopting or even doing foster care. But I think at this point, we are happy with the way things are. I got accepted into dissertation and that will be my next year busy. My husband wants to go back to school for his master’s degree. We each have three degrees at this point and will both be getting a fourth. Too bad we couldn’t have kids. They could probably rule the world. Not saying that the ones we have now couldn’t. Both are extremely smart.

Right now I am battling yet another sinus infection with an ear infection. I cannot wait to get the sinus surgery done! I feel like I may be coming out of this funk. I try to look around when I get bad and see all of the people in my life and all of the accomplishments. We are still enjoying our new house. We have been working on the yard and have so many ideas of what we want to do. The inside is coming along nicely. Home ownership has been fun so far. We’ve had a few snags, but it is so cute to see my husband looking up landscaping ideas.

For now, I will keep trying to look at the positive and try not to focus so much on the negative. I’m still working on getting negative people out of my life. Some people can never be supportive or happy for you no matter what.

Health, lifestyle, pcos, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Women's Health

Finally, An Introduction

Here I am, 39 years old. I am six months away from turning 40. I am not quite sure when the symptoms of PCOS started. I do know that when I was a teenager, I had horrible periods. I would have such bad cramps that I would miss school at least once a month. I tried everything from medication to crazy treatments that were handed down by generations of women. I was a skinny little thing growing up. When I was 19, I finally saw a doctor about my issues with anxiety and period issues. I was put on birth control for the period issues.

I began putting on weight. I stopped taking birth control and I literally blew up. It was really tough because I was raised to think my worth was in my looks. The mom issues are for another blog. I was in and out of doctors because I felt horrible. I would miss periods and have to take pregnancy tests because I had never heard of PCOS. At that time, I had no idea that I had anything too serious. Around the age of 22, I missed a period for three months. When I did end up having one, it was so heavy and horrible that I was stuck in bed for days. The doctor had thought it was stress. She could not explain why I had gained weight or having issues. She figured it was because I was part of the “real world” now. That means, I was out of college with a full-time job. I still exercised and ate healthy, yet I kept putting on weight.

When I was 25, things took a turn. I ended up in the emergency room because of having a period that would not end. It was heavy and painful. I was finally diagnosed with PCOS. I was told that I would probably never have children, if I just lost weight that the symptoms would dissipate, and that there was no cure. I bought every book that I could on the subject. I joined online groups. I needed to learn all that I could. I was put on metformin.

On a side note, I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and self-worth issues my whole life. I was in several abusive relationships in my early 20’s. At this point, I was in a depression and I was continuing to slip right down the drain. I was drinking heavily and stopped taking my medications.

I was 30 and had a good job and a nice boyfriend (or so I thought). I had not had a “real” period in months. I say real, because I spotted every month. I began a period in March of 2011. By April, I finally went to the emergency room because it was so heavy and was not stopping. My blood count was still good and I was sent away with an appointment with an obgyn. By the time that appointment came around, my boyfriend had broken up with me. I had been in so much pain and was bleeding through pads every other hour. I woke up that morning and I was white as a piece of paper. I felt so faint. My mom drove me to the doctor and when she took blood, I nearly passed out. She had made an appointment for me to have surgery on Friday (it was Tuesday) to stop the bleeding. However, an hour later, she called me and told me I needed to get to the hospital right away. My hemoglobin level was at 5. Transfusion levels are at a 7 or 8. I needed a transfusion and I needed one now. By the time we got to the hospital, I could no longer walk. I had to be wheeled in. I ended up with a blood transfusion and a dilation and curettage surgery.

It turns out that my uterine lining was over ten centimeters. Because I have had a blood clot in the past, I am not a candidate for oral contraceptives. I ended up having an IUD put in. I am now on my second one, and it has been a life saver.

The journey I have been on with PCOS has not been easy. There are many symptoms of PCOS and not everyone suffers the same way. I was taken off of metformin a couple years ago due to stomach issues. My doctor does not like to put people on metformin unless they meet the diabetic levels on their A1C. Since I test under, I am safe for now.

Some of the symptoms that I have with PCOS are the insulin resistance and inability to lose weight properly, oily skin and acne (though that has gotten better with age), missed and heavy periods (I am not sure if I still have this due to the IUD), anxiety and depression, cysts on my ovaries, I have never been pregnant, and others that may not be typical of PCOS, such as stomach issues.

PCOS is beginning to gain momentum in the medical field and more attention and funds are being given to the study of it. It is thought that one in ten women suffer from PCOS, but there is talk that it may be as many as one in five. There is also rumors that PCOS may be renamed to better include all of the symptoms. It is not clear what causes PCOS.

Fighting PCOS every day is exhausting, but I know that I am not alone. I will not stop in educating others about it. There are days that I have to push through it and there are days where I feel good. I am still on this journey and will be for the rest of my life. This year things are changing. I am taking better care of myself than I have in the past. There are so many misconceptions about PCOS and I am here to set the record straight and share my journey with others. I hope sharing helps keep me heal and keep myself in check. I also hope it helps to educate and inspire others.

Health, lifestyle, pcos, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Uncategorized, Women's Health

New Blog

Well, here I am again. This is my new blog. My old domain will expire and everything will move over to my domain. I decided to keep the same website and start over. You can now follow me on Twitter @mypcosadventure and on Instagram at @mypcosadventures. I have not set up a Facebook yet and am still in the works on the other two items.

I will be getting to a longer introduction in the next day or so. It takes awhile to change, and I want to do this right. There is much more to come in the future and I am excited for the new changes. Thank you to the ones who are still following me. Here is to new beginnings!